Chivalry

Kelley and I just finished watching Kate & Leopold. If you have not watched it, I suggest that you do. It is a good movie and reminds me a lot of chivalry (although throughout it Kate, Meg Ryan's character, is quite mean to Leopold). First, the plot line: Stuart (Kate's ex boyfriend) goes back in time and upon returning lures back the Duke of Albany, Leopold (who also happened to invent elevators). So Leopold is from 1876, stuck in 2000 (or so) and ends up falling in love with Kate. Anyways, the movie is mostly about chivalry and Leopold is excellent at it (being from the 19th century helps a great deal).
Why am I caught up in chivalry you ask? Because the same methods that Leopold used (assuming they are actually 1876 methods) still work today, however they seem to be long forgotten. The age of opening doors for ladies and bringing them flowers is fading. Yes, there are still men out there who do these sorts of things but unfortunately there are many, many who don't get it. At one point in the movie Leopold is giving Kate's brother Charlie advice on calling a girl he likes. Leopold was one who actually secured her number for Charlie and is surprised that Charlie is acting so "inconsiderate" of her feelings, I believe he calls him a merry-Andrew. He tells Charlie, "Everything plays a farce to you. Women respond to sincerity. No-one wants to be romanced by a buffoon." So true! And yet so many women allow themselves to be romanced by a buffoon. Just today I was reading an article on MSN that gave an example of how a girl who so badly wanted to be married that she dated this guy even though she knew he was a jerk and not worthy of her. In the end, he proposed, but not to her. No, instead he proposed to the girl he was dating behind her back! So how does this happen? How do these buffoons end up with girls and end up marrying them? Why do these girls settle? Simple: girls are desperate to get married and thus make it easy for guys who are too lazy to be chivalrous. If women instead held their ground and only dated those men who were sincere and who did actually court them then men would be forced to become those types of men. When a woman dates a man who treats her badly then she only encourages his behavior. I'm not saying that you can date a man and change him. That is never a good idea. Instead, expect more from them. Of course, a man will never be a Leopold (let's face it, that's all Hollywood), but what does it hurt to set the bar higher? Why not expect him to open your door, bring you flowers and write you letters that say how much he appreciates you? And if you do happen to find one who does this, be appreciative. Thank him, encourage him.
Letters, that brings up something else from the movie. In the same conversation with Charlie that was previously mentioned, Leopold also talks about letters. After hearing that Kate is going to dinner with a man whose intentions are unclear. Leopold is concerned about her, rightfully so. He asks to chaperone her and she retorts, "I'm alone with you. Do I need a chaperone?" To which he replies, "We are not courting, Kate. If we were, as a man of honor, I would have informed you of my intentions in writing." Ponder that...I know all you girls are sighing. Interesting enough he does just that later on and it works! Guys, take note.
I'm not writing this as a "girls need to be treated better" campaign. However, I am encouraging those women around me to not throw themselves at every guy who comes along. Just wait, be patient and encourage chivalry. Make him make his intentions known. Would you rather date a man who has no concern for your emotional well-being right now, or wait 1, 2 or maybe even 5 years for a man who would do anything for you, even bring you a warm bioche smothered in marmalade and fresh creamery butter in bed.
It's all in God's timing. Don't rush a relationship or try and date every available guy to the expense of your heart and emotions. Men were made to pursue, they were created to be chivalrous. Encourage them and let them pursue you. Enjoy the wait and enjoy what God has for you right now. God created marriage to mirror His relationship with us and to bring Himself glory. He wants the best for you. The question is are you willing to wait for it?