It's all about trust (and so is this blog)

This past weekend we attended a life options retreat where we are told all of our options with the company and then asked to consider going on a second year of STINT or joining the company. Sounds intimidating. However, once we got there, it turned out to be a very relaxing weekend.
All of it has to do with the fact that I know for sure what I'm doing next year: going back to WSU and finishing up school. However, past that, I really don't know. I could go on STINT again, either back here to EA or somewhere else (maybe Spanish speaking...). I could join staff, probably do ICS (international), but I'm not really sure the company is where God wants me. Other options include entering the workforce, going to more school (not really considering this option), or living in a van down by the river. That last option is sounding better and better. Past next year I really have no idea what God has in store for me. I can really only guess.
I don't feel called back here, but then again, it might not happen until next year. I still have a heart for Latin America, so there's always that option. I would love to use my Spanish in my service to Yahweh, but we'll see what He thinks about that. So with that, I've been struggling a lot with why am I here this year? If God doesn't intend to call me back, why? This weekend helped to bring it all up again. Thinking about where God is taking me and where I've been. At least I know what I'm doing next year, but even then there are questions (such as: where am I going to live? Am I going to be able to graduate in a year? What is it going to be like going back to WSU after this year?).
I guess it's all about trusting God. I keep telling myself that, but as many of you know trusting is easier said than done. Trusting in His sovereignty and His ultimate plan for my life. What part does this year play in my life? Maybe I'll never be able to answer that question. I can tell you I've learned many valuable lessons here that it would be hard to learn elsewhere. I've seen God work in ways I didn't know were possible, and I've been able to picture Him as more of an all-powerful, almighty God instead of the American version of watered-down Christian God who prompts us to attend Bible studies and church. God called me here I'm certain of that. I just need to stop questioning and start trusting, start having faith in His plan. Who can understand the mind of God? Therefore, who am I to think I can understand His plan for me and my future.
Anyways, this is a snippet of what goes through my mind every time I think about my future. My biggest fear is that I'll miss what God has for me. Either I'll miss it from a lack of paying attention or miss it because it wasn't I wanted for my life. My prayer is that no matter where God takes me past this year that I would trust and follow Him with reckless abandon. Not caring about what the world thinks, but pursuing a life of righteousness that He has called me to. That I wouldn't question His leading but that I would follow with faith like a child. Trusting in Him for the fulfillment of His kingdom purposes in my life.